Untitled Document


	<< back \| interviews/beef conspiracy Beef Conspiracy 1. Greetings, Tom! Hopefully you're in a right shape for answering this interview and for starters please introduce Beef Conspiracy to the readers. Chuffy McFlannelslap: If you don’t know who we are by know you should be beaten by your respective fathers! Jamboree McBigFun: We’re a UK death/grind band. We've been playing for about eight years as Beef Conspiracy and in various forms since we were 12. We sound like Cephalic Carnage fighting Flesh Parade at a Disgorge party. We promote the growth and styling of beards and the consumption of heated derivatives of meat. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: We’ve got a mcd,"Hung, Drawn and Quarter-poundered" out on Grindethic Records. 2. Beef Conspiracy is a very strange name for a band. It is funny also. Was that the idea, to form a funny project or are there any other explainations to this band-name? Chuffy McFlannelslap: It’s basically coz we love Beef but there’s a world wide conspiracy to try and stop us. We ain’t really trying to be funny. We just like meat. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: An added advantage to having a weird name is that no-one ever forgets it. 3. From 1998 till 2000 there are no actions registered in your bio. What happened in that period? Was it a full-on-rehearsals period for the band? Chuffy McFlannelslap: Not really. We were all at university in different cities so rehearsing was a bit difficult. Jamboree McBigFun: We played a few gigs and got some songs together. 4. In 2000 you released your first and only demo so far. Tell us about it and the reactions it made around the scene. Chuffy McFlannelslap: It went down really badly coz the production was shocking. Still, it got our name about. Jamboree McBigFun: Considering it was recorded in the drummers attic with a four track, it had a good reception. We still get people asking for it now. It didn’t take long until some of the tracks were on a few comps. As far as demos go it did what we wanted it to and got our name about. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: We were only young when we released "Undead, Undressed and Ready For Breafast" so only people in the UK really got to hear it apart from the tracks that were on comps. It was mostly just sold to people we knew because we didn’t really know how to sell it further afield and we were only just starting to get involved with the underground scene. Quite a few people downloaded mp3s from it off the internet though. 5. In July 2003 you played at the Obscene Extreme fest in Czech Republic, but before I'll ask you some things about it, please tell me if the contract with Grindethic Records came before the fest or after it. Chuffy McFlannelslap: Think it came up beforehand. I can’t remember. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Yeah, it was way before that. We were originally going to be one of the first releases on Grindethic when it first started but because we took so long finishing the cd it was the seventh I think. 6. And since we are talking about the deal with your record company, how did it came to be? Maybe after your shows alongside Gorerotted, or you just simply sent them a promo and they liked the stuff? Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I actually run Grindethic with Junky Jon from Gorerotted so it was an easy option really. We tried a few other labels first because it seemed almost too easy to just do it on my own label. We had a few offers but usually they wanted to release it as a split cd which we weren’t really interested in. Jamboree McBigFun: We've known Jon for fuckin years and Skeletor the co-runner of Grindethic is our guitarist. It just seemed the obvious choice. Chuffy McFlannelslap: We made them a fifty dollar blowjob and scored them some crack. 7. Now, back to Obscene Extreme, how did you got to play in there and how was it as your first foreign gig? How did you find the Czech maniacs and how did they welcome you? Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I went to Obscene the year before and it was so amazing I was desperate to play the next year. I emailed Curby, the organizer, and said we were keen to play if anyone pulled out. There had been a couple of cancellations and tragically David from Purulent had been killed in a car accident so there were some spaces that needed filling. Its just shame that we had to benefit from someone else’s misfortune. Jamboree McBigFun: Obscene was really good. We had a really good reception. It was nice to play a European festival, especially one as good as Obscene. We've been back every year since, cheap booze and grind. We played at about 3 in the morning so everyone was really pissed and up for it. The hardest bit was staying sober enough to play. Don't think we would get asked to play again if we crawled on stage and vomited everywhere, although would have been a good stage show. This year at Obscene a guy stuck a drum stick up his arse, sucked it clean, then passed it back to the drummer, fucking funny but very wrong. 8. Any plans of getting back? What about the other parts of Europe, and why not, Eastern Europe? What do you know about the scene in the East of Europe? Jamboree McBigFun: We're always up for playing festivals. Its definitely something we want to do more of. Eastern Europe’s got some amazing death and grind bands, it would be fucking good to play with bands like Smashed Face and Mincing Fury. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I’d love to play Czech again in particular. My girlfriend is from there originally so its like a second homeland to me know. I think except for maybe Holland, Czech Republic has the most brutal bands in the whole of Europe. It’d be cool to try somewhere else as well though. Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’d love to play Obscene again but I don’t think we’d be allowed. We wanna get back to Europe as soon as possible. 9. Now you are a 5 pieces band. Any troubles with the line-up since your beginings? What can you tell us about each of you? Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’ve had a really steady line-up. We’ve all been mates since we were kids so we all feel the love. Except Bertie who only feels discomfort. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: The band grew from a 2-piece to a 5-piece pretty quickly when the band started so it really feels like we’ve always had 5 members. The main problems are all with Beef Finder McGeneral, the drummer, because he always eats more than his share of the pizza. Chuffy McFlannelslap also causes difficulties by not having butter on his bread! Jamboree McBigFun: We've been a five piece from the get you cock! Carlos McPablo is the front man, sample maker, lyricist and artist of the band. The rest of us just make a horrible racket in the background. 10. Your first CD, "Hung, Drawn and Quarter-Poundered" saw the light of the day in November 2004. Can you please tell us a few words on each of the tracks featured on it? Who wrote the lyrics and what are they about? Who made the cover-artwork? Where did you record and how much time it took you? Chuffy McFlannelslap: Its really a mixture of old and newer stuff. It mainly deals with meat, power tools and sexual perversion. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I think there’s an obvious divide between the songs where you can see how our style has progressed. Songs like "Chainsaw", "Nailgun" and "Rover" are all really old now and are more simple grindy tracks. The newer ones like "Cerebral Minge" and "Jam or Butter, Not Both" are newer and have a lot more complex approach to song writing. When the new material is eventually released you’ll be able to see a continuation of this progression with the songs getting longer and more complex. Carlos McPablo, the main vocalist, did the album cover and also most of the lyrics. We steer clear of singing about real life events and all the lyrics are like made up stories. They’re usually quite sick but also with a lot of humour. Unfortunately this has led to a lot of people dismissing us as a "comedy" band which isn’t really a tag we’re that keen on. We recorded the cd at the University of Stafford, where 2 of us were studying sound engineering. This meant we were able to use the equipment for free and we produced the whole thing ourselves in about 3 or 4 days. We did the actual mixing at home on computers but this took a stupidly long amount of time, mainly due to difficulties in getting the whole band together during this period. It was really a learning experience and we’ll definitely greatly improve on the production the next time round. 11. You have a pretty weird combination of death, grind and some modern elements. How would you characterize your musical style and what do you think you have more than the others? Jamboree McBigFun: We've always tried not to fit into a certain style and just mix up all the elements of the extreme metal we like, working it with each members strengths. It just turns out how it does. We like to mix it up a bit, twisty solid death metal sections, fast blasts and weird grind bits in between it all. As far as what we've got more of than other bands, probably our use of contemporary beard displays and Beef Finder’s use of dildo's instead of drum sticks. Chuffy McFlannelslap: I think we’re like a pretty hefty cross between old and new. We blend older influences like Carcass and Napalm Death with newer stuff like Cephalic Carnage and Pig Destroyer. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I think that the key to our diversity is that we all tend to listen to different types of bands. Me and Jamboree prefer brutal death metal, Chuffy listens to a lot of aggressive grind, Carlos listens to quite a diverse range of music with a lot of ambient stuff and Beef Finder McGeneral likes Wham! 12. There's half a year since the MCD was released. What do you know about the feed-back? Are you content with the help Grindethic gave you after you signed with them? Are you a better known band now? Chuffy McFlannelslap: The cd has done so much better than we expected. Pretty much every review has been 7.5 and up so we’re really pleased. I think we’re much better known now than we were a year ago. Jamboree McBigFun: We’ve had some really good feedback. Most of the reviews have been positive and have picked up on what we've tried to do with it. Grindethic have done a good job of distributing it. Most big and underground labels have got it. On the Relapse site if you click on Cephalic Carnage, it sugest us underneath, can't be bad really. Its also availiable at Tesco and Woolworths, brutal as fucking fuck mother fucker! Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Grindethic has actually just about sold out now so its done really well. The funny thing is its sold a lot better around the world than it has in the UK. We’re an odd mix for people in Britain. Most of them prefer straight death metal or really noisy simple grind. 13. Any plans for a full-length? I guess you can't wait for your official debut... Will it be on Grindethic again or are you thinking of signing a more "mainstream" label? Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’ll be recording a full length in summer next year hopefully. We’re working hard on it at the moment and its shaping up to be a fucking masterpiece! Dunno who’s releasing it yet. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. Jamboree McBigFun: The new stuff is sounding really good. Hopefully we'll be in the studio next year. As far as labels go, wait and see. I’d be more than happy to put it out through Grindethic again, but if Metal Blade wanted it, we won't argue. 14. How the metal scene in your area and how do you fit in it? Any good mates from other bands? Any good new bands you can recommend us from England? Jamboree McBigFun: We've got a lot of really good friends in the UK scene. We've been going to gigs and playing them all over the UK for about twelve years now so we've got mates who'll put us up, feed us beer and supply our entertainment in most places in the UK. There's a lot of really good UK bands. Some like Desecration and Gorerotted have been playing for ages, and new bands like Amputated, Sarpanitum, Bludgeon, Screamin Daemon and loads more. Plus, more and more quality underground bands are playing over here now. We're playing with Mortal Decay, Brutus and Beheaded in a few days and in the last year we've had bands like Goratory and Skinned coming across as well. Chuffy McFlannelslap: Detrimentum and Sarpanitum are 2 bands you should definitely hear. They’re our good mates and are well worth your time. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Sarpanitum are probably going to be the next release on Grindethic. They’re a bit like a more brutal version of Nile. Really technical and talented, especially since they’re all quite young. They started out recording their demo with a drum machine but now they’ve got a drummer who is phenomenal. Check out their website at www.sarpanitum.co.uk and watch this space. 15. OK, I guess I should stop here, but hope we'll talk again soon. If I left something out, please complete it now. The end is yours. Good luck with the band! Chuffy McFlannelslap: Thanks mate, you rule the ranch! Buy our cd now, coz it’s nearly sold out. Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Ta me dear. If anyone wants any more info or to download an mp3 from our current cd, visit www.grindethic.co.uk. I’d just like to thank our unofficial sixth member, Microsoft McSpell-checker, without who’s help this interview would have made even less sense. See ya.

<< back | interviews/beef conspiracy

Beef Conspiracy

1. Greetings, Tom! Hopefully you're in a right shape for answering this interview and for starters please introduce Beef Conspiracy to the readers.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: If you don’t know who we are by know you should be beaten by your respective fathers!
Jamboree McBigFun: We’re a UK death/grind band. We've been playing for about eight years as Beef Conspiracy and in various forms since we were 12. We sound like Cephalic Carnage fighting Flesh Parade at a Disgorge party. We promote the growth and styling of beards and the consumption of heated derivatives of meat.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: We’ve got a mcd,"Hung, Drawn and Quarter-poundered" out on Grindethic Records.

2. Beef Conspiracy is a very strange name for a band. It is funny also. Was that the idea, to form a funny project or are there any other explainations to this band-name?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: It’s basically coz we love Beef but there’s a world wide conspiracy to try and stop us. We ain’t really trying to be funny. We just like meat.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: An added advantage to having a weird name is that no-one ever forgets it.

3. From 1998 till 2000 there are no actions registered in your bio. What happened in that period? Was it a full-on-rehearsals period for the band?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: Not really. We were all at university in different cities so rehearsing was a bit difficult.
Jamboree McBigFun: We played a few gigs and got some songs together.

4. In 2000 you released your first and only demo so far. Tell us about it and the reactions it made around the scene.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: It went down really badly coz the production was shocking. Still, it got our name about.
Jamboree McBigFun: Considering it was recorded in the drummers attic with a four track, it had a good reception. We still get people asking for it now. It didn’t take long until some of the tracks were on a few comps. As far as demos go it did what we wanted it to and got our name about.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: We were only young when we released "Undead, Undressed and Ready For Breafast" so only people in the UK really got to hear it apart from the tracks that were on comps. It was mostly just sold to people we knew because we didn’t really know how to sell it further afield and we were only just starting to get involved with the underground scene. Quite a few people downloaded mp3s from it off the internet though.

5. In July 2003 you played at the Obscene Extreme fest in Czech Republic, but before I'll ask you some things about it, please tell me if the contract with Grindethic Records came before the fest or after it.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: Think it came up beforehand. I can’t remember.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Yeah, it was way before that. We were originally going to be one of the first releases on Grindethic when it first started but because we took so long finishing the cd it was the seventh I think.

6. And since we are talking about the deal with your record company, how did it came to be? Maybe after your shows alongside Gorerotted, or you just simply sent them a promo and they liked the stuff?
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I actually run Grindethic with Junky Jon from Gorerotted so it was an easy option really. We tried a few other labels first because it seemed almost too easy to just do it on my own label. We had a few offers but usually they wanted to release it as a split cd which we weren’t really interested in.
Jamboree McBigFun: We've known Jon for fuckin years and Skeletor the co-runner of Grindethic is our guitarist. It just seemed the obvious choice.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: We made them a fifty dollar blowjob and scored them some crack.

7. Now, back to Obscene Extreme, how did you got to play in there and how was it as your first foreign gig? How did you find the Czech maniacs and how did they welcome you?
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I went to Obscene the year before and it was so amazing I was desperate to play the next year. I emailed Curby, the organizer, and said we were keen to play if anyone pulled out. There had been a couple of cancellations and tragically David from Purulent had been killed in a car accident so there were some spaces that needed filling. Its just shame that we had to benefit from someone else’s misfortune.
Jamboree McBigFun: Obscene was really good. We had a really good reception. It was nice to play a European festival, especially one as good as Obscene. We've been back every year since, cheap booze and grind. We played at about 3 in the morning so everyone was really pissed and up for it. The hardest bit was staying sober enough to play. Don't think we would get asked to play again if we crawled on stage and vomited everywhere, although would have been a good stage show. This year at Obscene a guy stuck a drum stick up his arse, sucked it clean, then passed it back to the drummer, fucking funny but very wrong.

8. Any plans of getting back? What about the other parts of Europe, and why not, Eastern Europe? What do you know about the scene in the East of Europe?
Jamboree McBigFun: We're always up for playing festivals. Its definitely something we want to do more of.
Eastern Europe’s got some amazing death and grind bands, it would be fucking good to play with bands like Smashed Face and Mincing Fury.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I’d love to play Czech again in particular. My girlfriend is from there originally so its like a second homeland to me know. I think except for maybe Holland, Czech Republic has the most brutal bands in the whole of Europe. It’d be cool to try somewhere else as well though.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’d love to play Obscene again but I don’t think we’d be allowed. We wanna get back to Europe as soon as possible.

9. Now you are a 5 pieces band. Any troubles with the line-up since your beginings? What can you tell us about each of you?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’ve had a really steady line-up. We’ve all been mates since we were kids so we all feel the love. Except Bertie who only feels discomfort.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: The band grew from a 2-piece to a 5-piece pretty quickly when the band started so it really feels like we’ve always had 5 members. The main problems are all with Beef Finder McGeneral, the drummer, because he always eats more than his share of the pizza. Chuffy McFlannelslap also causes difficulties by not having butter on his bread!
Jamboree McBigFun: We've been a five piece from the get you cock! Carlos McPablo is the front man, sample maker, lyricist and artist of the band. The rest of us just make a horrible racket in the background.

10. Your first CD, "Hung, Drawn and Quarter-Poundered" saw the light of the day in November 2004. Can you please tell us a few words on each of the tracks featured on it? Who wrote the lyrics and what are they about? Who made the cover-artwork? Where did you record and how much time it took you?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: Its really a mixture of old and newer stuff. It mainly deals with meat, power tools and sexual perversion.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I think there’s an obvious divide between the songs where you can see how our style has progressed. Songs like "Chainsaw", "Nailgun" and "Rover" are all really old now and are more simple grindy tracks. The newer ones like "Cerebral Minge" and "Jam or Butter, Not Both" are newer and have a lot more complex approach to song writing. When the new material is eventually released you’ll be able to see a continuation of this progression with the songs getting longer and more complex. Carlos McPablo, the main vocalist, did the album cover and also most of the lyrics. We steer clear of singing about real life events and all the lyrics are like made up stories. They’re usually quite sick but also with a lot of humour. Unfortunately this has led to a lot of people dismissing us as a "comedy" band which isn’t really a tag we’re that keen on. We recorded the cd at the University of Stafford, where 2 of us were studying sound engineering. This meant we were able to use the equipment for free and we produced the whole thing ourselves in about 3 or 4 days. We did the actual mixing at home on computers but this took a stupidly long amount of time, mainly due to difficulties in getting the whole band together during this period. It was really a learning experience and we’ll definitely greatly improve on the production the next time round.

11. You have a pretty weird combination of death, grind and some modern elements. How would you characterize your musical style and what do you think you have more than the others?
Jamboree McBigFun: We've always tried not to fit into a certain style and just mix up all the elements of the extreme metal we like, working it with each members strengths. It just turns out how it does. We like to mix it up a bit, twisty solid death metal sections, fast blasts and weird grind bits in between it all. As far as what we've got more of than other bands, probably our use of contemporary beard displays and Beef Finder’s use of dildo's instead of drum sticks.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: I think we’re like a pretty hefty cross between old and new. We blend older influences like Carcass and Napalm Death with newer stuff like Cephalic Carnage and Pig Destroyer.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: I think that the key to our diversity is that we all tend to listen to different types of bands. Me and Jamboree prefer brutal death metal, Chuffy listens to a lot of aggressive grind, Carlos listens to quite a diverse range of music with a lot of ambient stuff and Beef Finder McGeneral likes Wham!

12. There's half a year since the MCD was released. What do you know about the feed-back? Are you content with the help Grindethic gave you after you signed with them? Are you a better known band now?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: The cd has done so much better than we expected. Pretty much every review has been 7.5 and up so we’re really pleased. I think we’re much better known now than we were a year ago.
Jamboree McBigFun: We’ve had some really good feedback. Most of the reviews have been positive and have picked up on what we've tried to do with it. Grindethic have done a good job of distributing it. Most big and underground labels have got it. On the Relapse site if you click on Cephalic Carnage, it sugest us underneath, can't be bad really. Its also availiable at Tesco and Woolworths, brutal as fucking fuck mother fucker!
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Grindethic has actually just about sold out now so its done really well. The funny thing is its sold a lot better around the world than it has in the UK. We’re an odd mix for people in Britain. Most of them prefer straight death metal or really noisy simple grind.

13. Any plans for a full-length? I guess you can't wait for your official debut... Will it be on Grindethic again or are you thinking of signing a more "mainstream" label?
Chuffy McFlannelslap: We’ll be recording a full length in summer next year hopefully. We’re working hard on it at the moment and its shaping up to be a fucking masterpiece! Dunno who’s releasing it yet. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Jamboree McBigFun: The new stuff is sounding really good. Hopefully we'll be in the studio next year. As far as labels go, wait and see. I’d be more than happy to put it out through Grindethic again, but if Metal Blade wanted it, we won't argue.

14. How the metal scene in your area and how do you fit in it? Any good mates from other bands? Any good new bands you can recommend us from England?
Jamboree McBigFun: We've got a lot of really good friends in the UK scene. We've been going to gigs and playing them all over the UK for about twelve years now so we've got mates who'll put us up, feed us beer and supply our entertainment in most places in the UK. There's a lot of really good UK bands. Some like Desecration and Gorerotted have been playing for ages, and new bands like Amputated, Sarpanitum, Bludgeon, Screamin Daemon and loads more. Plus, more and more quality underground bands are playing over here now. We're playing with Mortal Decay, Brutus and Beheaded in a few days and in the last year we've had bands like Goratory and Skinned coming across as well.
Chuffy McFlannelslap: Detrimentum and Sarpanitum are 2 bands you should definitely hear. They’re our good mates and are well worth your time.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Sarpanitum are probably going to be the next release on Grindethic. They’re a bit like a more brutal version of Nile. Really technical and talented, especially since they’re all quite young. They started out recording their demo with a drum machine but now they’ve got a drummer who is phenomenal. Check out their website at www.sarpanitum.co.uk and watch this space.

15. OK, I guess I should stop here, but hope we'll talk again soon. If I left something out, please complete it now. The end is yours. Good luck with the band!
Chuffy McFlannelslap: Thanks mate, you rule the ranch! Buy our cd now, coz it’s nearly sold out.
Dirty Bertie McSkeletor: Ta me dear. If anyone wants any more info or to download an mp3 from our current cd, visit www.grindethic.co.uk. I’d just like to thank our unofficial sixth member, Microsoft McSpell-checker, without who’s help this interview would have made even less sense. See ya.